Over nineteen years ago, one of the things that drew us together as a couple was our love of children and our shared excitement about the prospect of creating a family together. We lost a child to miscarriage during our second year of marriage, but never thought that would be our last pregnancy. Though we fully expected to be able to have biological children, we always talked about adopting children. Nora grew up around large families that were made of a blend of biological and adopted children. She wanted this for her own family as well. However, both of us also expected to have the experience of pregnancy.
After years of trying to get pregnant, and seeking a medical cause, we decided to try fertility treatment. After all, we had been told there was no obvious reason why we couldn’t conceive a child. Our doctor was positive it would happen. We did a first round of hormones and the fertility procedure. Then the waiting began. We let ourselves be a little bit excited. Nora remembers laying in bed thinking, I’m going to be a mom! The thought of being a mom gave her more joy than she had ever experienced. We picked out names. Yes, this was early, but we were so excited.
You can imagine what happened next. We were disappointed, but determined to try again. We did three fertility procedures in all. After the third treatment, there was no more waiting. Nora found a lump in her breast that turned out to be cancer. She was very lucky that the cancer was treatable and she is now cancer free. However, the cancer treatment took away her ability to have biological children. Some time has passed, and now we wonder if all of this was meant to be. We are the kind of people who can love any child. Maybe our own child, the one we are meant to have, is not one that we will create. There’s a different plan for us and we’re good with that. In fact, we’re full of joy at the thought that we will get to be parents some day.